I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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