I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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