You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When did angry sex become our thing?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
