Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
