Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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