my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
