Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you would pick up someone in the library
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
