Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize