didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
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just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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