i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
time to smoke my breakfast
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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