Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
