i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
