If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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