i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So many bounce houses so little time
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
