I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
