Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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