soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
