My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
