If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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