Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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