she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
