If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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