STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
