Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
