Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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