hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
