Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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