ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Two words: nipple clamps
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