Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize