their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
