those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
