11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
