I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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