Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
