your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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