If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
