I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
