it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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