Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
