Don't make out with my wife yet
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
