So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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