It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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