I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
