Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
