nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
