YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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