did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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