I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
