ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
