**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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