Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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