maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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