I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
