I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You smell like stripper and shame
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
