I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i've created a new STD.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize