Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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