Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
