I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
