I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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