The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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